


A Kidnapping

by Uozumi



Series: Malcolm/Jamie in Common Romance Plots [1]
Category: The Thick of It (TV)
Genre: Kidnapping, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-30
Updated: 2014-06-30
Packaged: 2018-02-06 19:39:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1869906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Uozumi/pseuds/Uozumi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mistaken identity leads to a group of men kidnapping Malcolm and Jamie in the office late at night.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Kidnapping

**Author's Note:**

> **Title** _A Kidnapping_  
>  **Author** Uozumi **Fandom** _The Thick of It_  
>  **Character(s)/Pairing(s)**  
>  **Genre** Drama/Romance/Slash/Terror  
>  **Rating** PG (R for language)  
>  **Word Count** 2,560  
>  **Disclaimer** The Thick of It c. Iannucci, BBC  
>  **Summary** Mistaken identity leads to a group of men kidnapping Malcolm and Jamie in the office late at night.  
>  **Warning(s)** kidnapping, violence, potential spoilers for all series and specials of _The Thick of It_  
>  **Notes** I needed some fic to write while taking breaks from writing my novel, so I grabbed a list of romance novel plots and decided to write a fic for each plot prompt and make a series of fic. The first prompt was kidnapping, but they wanted it based on the Persephone myth, which I was not feeling, so I decided to try a different type of kidnapping that brings people together rather than forces them together. Two ratings because I like to be upfront about content. These fics will be short and simple ideally with happy endings. Many will likely not be exactly the plot prompt for various reasons.

**_A Kidnapping_ **

It was late. Malcolm doubted anyone else was in the office. Sam went home an hour ago, and Malcolm planned to go home shortly. He gathered his things and rubbed his face. The lights turned off, but Malcolm’s finger was not near the switch yet. Malcolm froze. He groped along the wall until he found the switch and turned the lights off and on, but everything remained dark. Malcolm held his breath. He listened. There were no white noises. It was too quiet. He could not hear any signs of the cleaning staff. He licked his lips and opened the door slowly.

A hand grabbed Malcolm’s wrist. Malcolm swung with his other arm and felt his fist connect with someone’s cheek. Another person grabbed His other wrist. Malcolm thrashed. He kicked. His foot connected with a stomach. A cloth bag slipped over Malcolm’s head. It smelled of strong chemicals that burnt his nose. The more he fought, the more his mind slipped and his movements slowed. He heard shouting just before his body went limp. 

When Malcolm’s body went limp, Jamie shoved his elbow hard into the side of one of the three men surrounding Malcolm’s body. Jamie slammed an open stapler into another attacker’s face hard enough the stapler almost broke. Another whack to another attacker and the stapler broke in half. The man still holding Malcolm dropped Malcolm to the ground and tackled Jamie. One of the other attackers kicked Jamie hard in the head. Jamie stopped fighting back. 

When Malcolm woke, he lay on his side. He could feel fingers against his fingers and when he tried to move his arms from behind him, they stopped short due to a cable tie. He heard a groggy groan from behind him. Malcolm knew it sounded like Jamie. Everything was dark. The vehicle stopped moving with a lurch, but his cable tie was fastened to Jamie’s cable tie and their combined weight kept them from sliding across the floor. 

“…kill him, the target won’t cooperate,” a voice said just before a door slid open. It sounded like a lorry door. 

Malcolm closed his eyes. He heard men climb into the lorry. One walked over to them and knelt down. 

“They’re both unconscious. You better not have fucking killed the target,” the man by their heads said. 

Jamie groaned in pain again. 

“That one’s expendable. We should have left his corpse,” the man by the door said. 

“He’s not fucking expendable. Do you even know what they both do?” 

“I don’t fucking care if they knit. I don’t want to fuck this up.”

“Kill the extra now, and you’ll fuck it up. Go get someone else if you’re going to whinge.”

“Do you think the Irvines will pay?” 

“They might make us prove it’s John. We’ll make him record something if they want more proof.” 

Malcolm continued to keep his eyes closed. The man cut the cable tie keeping Malcolm tethered to Jamie. The men dragged Malcolm and Jamie down a long room and then turned down a hallway. Malcolm could smell machinery and petrol. 

“What do we do if one of them dies?” 

“Let’s make it so neither fucking dies. Maybe we can get creative with the extra.” 

A door opened. The men let Malcolm and Jamie fall to the floor. Someone took a picture with their mobile phone. Then the men left, closing and locking a door behind them.

Malcolm opened an eye. None of the attackers were in the room with them. He sat up slowly. He had a dull headache. There was dim light in the room from small windows near the ceiling. There was a desk and chair in the room along with several empty side filers. Malcolm sneezed. Everything was dusty. 

Jamie groaned in pain again. Malcolm moved so he could see Jamie on the floor. He frowned. Malcolm tested the tightness of the cable ties. They were tight enough that he still had circulation, but not loose enough for much movement. “Are you awake?” Malcolm asked quietly. 

“I wish I was fucking dead,” Jamie murmured. His arms twitched. He tried to move them again. “Fuck. What the fucking fuck…” he hissed. 

“Our arms are tied,” Malcolm said. He moved his legs. There were cable ties around his ankles and a cable tie attached between them. “I was the target.” 

Jamie sat up slowly. There was dried blood down one side of his face. He closed his eyes and grimaced. “I know,” he said. He opened his eyes and breathed deeply against the pain. “They’re going to try to fucking kill me.” 

“Maybe,” Malcolm said. He squinted in the dim light. He knew cable ties must bind Jamie’s hands, but it was hard for Malcolm to see them. “Let’s not find out.” Malcolm flexed his wrists again. 

Jamie began to squirm. He twisted his wrists and tried to move his arms as much as he could with as much force as he could. “I need you to use your teeth,” Jamie said. “Use your teeth to fuck with the lock,” Jamie said. “I might be able to break it.” 

Malcolm lowered his body onto the floor and inched forward. He found Jamie’s wrists and felt with his tongue until he could follow the zip tie up to its lock. Jamie shivered instinctively, but his head hurt too much to focus on the tongue along his skin. Malcolm worked at the lock with his teeth. When he felt he could do no more, he moved away so Jamie could flop about trying to get free.

While Jamie continued to work on his cable ties, Malcolm went over to one of the side files in the room. He carefully pulled on the handle of the bottom drawer and pulled the drawer out slowly. 

“What do they want?” Jamie asked. 

Malcolm tried to work the lock of the cable tie around his wrists into the corner of the drawer. He squirmed and wiggled as he worked. “When I was a lad, there was this rich cunt in my year. We looked exactly alike except he was fucking ginger.” 

Jamie watched Malcolm squirm. His own arms stilled. He had never seen Malcolm squirm before and he could not look away. “Shouldn’t he be fucking around with trust funds then?” Jamie asked. 

Malcolm bit his lip and wiggled the sharp end of the draw under the lock. He could not loosen the cable tie. “Fuck.” He stopped wiggling to consider his options for escape. “The cunt’s dead. He’s been dead since we were in sixth year.” Malcolm sighed. “I need your teeth,” he said. 

Jamie blinked and then nodded. His head ached and he almost thought Malcolm wanted his teeth for other things. “I’m not free yet either.” 

Malcolm moved closer and then turned his back to Jamie. Jamie did his best to manoeuvre his body so he could manipulate the lock of Malcolm’s cable tie with his teeth. Jamie eventually rolled away. Malcolm moved his arms up and down as best he could, trying to force the cable tie apart. Eventually, he succeeded. 

Jamie’s cable tie around his hands broke after Malcolm worked at the lock with his teeth one last time. Jamie rubbed his wrists and watched Malcolm. “We’re more fucked than I thought we were.” He stretched his legs as far as the cable ties around his ankles would allow. 

Malcolm frowned. He reached into his pockets. His glasses were tucked inside an interior pocket. The frame had snapped in several places from the rough treatment of Malcolm’s body and lack of a glasses case. Malcolm pulled one of the pieces of frame out of his pocket carefully and checked for glass. Finding none, he said, “Give me your feet.” 

Jamie did so. He watched Malcolm work the sharp tip into the lock of the cable tie that kept the cable ties on Jamie’s ankles together. After much manipulation, the cable tie came apart. Jamie took the glasses from Malcolm and used the broken tip to do the same to the cable tie keeping Malcolm’s ankles together. Malcolm helped Jamie to his feet. They looked towards the door. Malcolm put the piece of frame into a pocket. 

“We need a weapon,” Malcolm said. He moved towards the chair. It was old and dusty but with some doing, he ripped it apart until he had the rod that made the seat back move up and down in his hand. He tossed it to Jamie. 

Jamie caught it. 

Malcolm picked up the rod that had the wheels of the chair attached to it. He swung it through the air, testing its weight. “The next time they open the door, we’re going to fight our way out of here,” Malcolm said. “If we start making a lot of noise, we’ll fuck ourselves over before we begin.” 

Jamie sat on top of the desk and kept his weapon in his lap. Malcolm put the wheels on the floor and sat beside Jamie on the desk. Everything was quiet. Everything smelled of sweat, blood, and petrol. Jamie knew he had to pee, but he could still hold it. Jamie also needed fags, but his lighter and packs were gone. Malcolm’s stomach rumbled. 

“Thanks,” Malcolm said after a long silence. 

Jamie looked at him. “For what?”

“Trying to fuck them over,” Malcolm said. Even though he did not want Jamie caught up in this, Jamie was preferable to other possible people that could be sitting beside him right now for various reasons. 

Jamie nodded. He could not remember much just before the kick to his head. He vaguely remembered seeing men fighting Malcolm. That was about it. The light from the outside windows grew steadily brighter. They designated a far corner of the room as a toilet. 

Eventually, they heard the key insert into the lock. Malcolm stood up and readied the wheels. Jamie readied the rod. They stood so Malcolm would strike first and Jamie second. The wheels sent the first man to the floor, crying out in pain. Jamie jabbed the rod in his hands under Malcolm’s arms and shoved it into the gut of the second man. Malcolm and Jamie ran, still carrying their weapons. Once recovered, the men pursued them. 

They were in an abandoned garage. It was not a long run towards one of the large doors to the outside. Yet, all the large doors were too big and heavy to move manually. They abandoned their weapons. Jamie wheezed but continued to follow Malcolm. He felt like he could throw up at any moment, but adrenaline kept him running. Malcolm led them down across rows of large doors. The side door was unlocked and he opened it, letting Jamie run through first before shutting it behind. The abandoned garage was in a part of London that neither Malcolm nor Jamie had been before. They ran along the mazes of industrial buildings. The sky was cloudy with scattered blue patches. 

Sirens grew louder. Malcolm slowed. His muscles ached and he felt so dizzy he had to close his eyes and place his hands on his knees. Jamie almost ran into him. Once stopped, Jamie vomited onto the sidewalk. Jamie’s body trembled with the need for a fag or six. Jamie shut his eyes tightly against his throbbing headache. 

Several police cars sped past, heading towards the abandoned garage. Malcolm put his hands on his knees and watched them. Before Malcolm could curse all of them, one of the cars returned and pulled up beside them before radioing for the ambulance to come to their location.

Tended to, questioned, debriefed, and released, Malcolm and Jamie went to their separate homes. Malcolm looked out his window as the night turned dark, his hair still damp from the shower. The police caught the four men responsible, but there was so much more to do before it would all end. Malcolm looked at the dark circles under his eyes in his reflection in the window. His belongings were still in police custody for evidence. He would have to get a new mobile from work. His glasses were another matter altogether and he could not get a new pair for a few days. 

His phone rang in the kitchen, which meant it was only a few people. He already spoke to his family and Sam, so that left very few possibilities. 

“I can’t sleep,” Jamie admitted after they had both greeted each other. 

Malcolm leaned against the kitchen counter. “Yeah,” he agreed. 

They lapsed into silence. 

“Come over,” they both said at the same time. 

“Whichever,” Jamie said after a beat. “You choose. I don’t fucking care as long as it doesn’t smell like petrol.” 

“Come here,” Malcolm said. He would choose his own bed every time. He was not sure what Jamie’s bedroom even looked like. He had only ever seen the ground floor. “We’ll share the bed.” 

“Alright,” Jamie said. He was curious. He had never seen Malcolm bedroom either. If he knew anything about Malcolm, he knew Malcolm liked soft things, comfortable things. He wondered if the bed would be too soft. 

When Jamie arrived, they were both tired. Malcolm still went through the motions of being a good host, but Jamie did not need anything like tea or water. Malcolm led them upstairs. Jamie put his overnight bag on a chair near the door. The bedroom was large and there was enough furniture that two people could use the room comfortably, though it looked like it had been just Malcolm using the bedroom by himself for a while, maybe with the occasional overnight company. 

Jamie retrieved the pyjama bottoms he brought and sat on the bed. The bed was firm, but the covers were soft and in varying shades of whites and blues, reminding him of the blue cushion on Malcolm’s sofa. He could hear Malcolm changing behind him as Jamie stripped down to his vest and pants before putting on his pyjama bottoms. They had shared many hotel rooms over the course of working together. This was the first time they would share a bed. Jamie stood up and looked at Malcolm once they both were dressed. Malcolm wore his old Sex Pistols t-shirt that Jamie had seen a handful of times before and some old pyjama bottoms. Malcolm stared back and both regarded each other silently. 

“This is fucking ridiculous,” Malcolm murmured. He got into bed. They naturally preferred opposite sides of the bed, so when Jamie got in, he did not feel like he was on the wrong side. 

They lay there quietly in the darkness. Malcolm was on his back and Jamie on his stomach. Jamie tried not to stare, but he kept follow the outline of Malcolm’s shadow with his eyes. They both knew the other was still awake. Jamie knew Malcolm’s tendency to snore quietly and Malcolm knew how Jamie’s breathing changed when Jamie was asleep. Jamie sighed and rolled over, burying his face into Malcolm’s shoulder, his body pressed up against Malcolm’s arm. Malcolm rolled onto his side and wrapped an arm around Jamie. Jamie moved closer. There were smells of fags, citrus, mint, and spice. No petrol. No dust. No sharp chemicals that burnt their noses. 

Jamie wrapped his arm around Malcolm. Their legs tangled together. Slowly, surely, both fell asleep.

**The End**


End file.
